”“You don’t pray any more?” Sara asked – politely, she hoped.“I could, I guess,” Arianna said, sounding like someone who had no idea. “But fucking and dancing and dressing like a slut are all more fun to me these days. I never did any of those things before – and I found out I had a real knack for all of them. But, it could always change.”Arianna noticed the grimace, and quickly added, “Have I not been a good friend?”“Absolutely. The best,” Sara agreed, taking Arianna’s hands for emphasis.“You hated the old me,” Arianna continued. “I was a total killjoy. I didn’t let Angel have friends outside of the dance group and I was always carping on her to go to church. I was even one of those who handed out tracts.”Horrible but true, Nicky thought.“That’s just the way I was brought up,” she continued her explanation. “Mama and Dad did not let me out of their sight for nearly 20 years, and I admit it – I loved the attention.”“What changed?” Sara asked, totally intrigued by now.“I needed a. "I was so sad and lonely..... it felt so nice....you holding me,......looking at me. Honey I haven't had anyone look at me like that........ in a long time. It made me feel...... good and needed.......wanted !, she said still sobbing. I was getting frustrated with her taking the "blame" and talking to me like a stupid kid that didn't know what he was doing or one who couldn't control himself. With me in the shower and not facing her I felt brave in speaking out . "Mom, I knew what I was doing OK !. I think your a pretty, sexy woman. I wanted to hold you, to feel you, to...........I mean who the hell wouldn't want you. I'M NOT SORRY AND I'D DO IT AGAIN !. I stood there thinking, "OH SHIT", seems I can't control my dam mouth. It was dead quiet except for the water running, I continued to stand there thinking, "I'm Toast". Thinking I really "did it now" I began to soap up and finish then I would deal with the aftermath when I was done and got out.I was wetting my hair when the shower.
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