. " I know," I said while giving them another dose. "But to tell you the truth, you only think that is true because I wanted you to believe that. Like I said, I'm going to level with you. I'm going to tell you everything you want to know and explain what all I can do. And then we're going to see if we can work out how to break your dependence on my smile."They all flinched again at that, but just like last time they didn't dare disagree even though they were convinced it wouldn't work.As I lead them to the study, I told them about the golden girl dance Joey and I had worked out. Bonnie kept interrupting with her astonished claims of remembering something I had just described, and even though Rachael had remembered some of it before, I knew she was listening very closely while the rest of those memories surfaced as I spoke of them.I didn't tell them how we had gotten the girls to do it, just described the dance to them, sometimes getting a little help from the two who had experienced. It was her place to feel free, the only place she could imagine what the mystics felt–free and held, all at once. She could look down on the city–and see there the naked ambition, all the fear and anxiety, the rush and the mayhem. One car, after another, one office, after another. In this park, here in her ‘happy place,’ she felt none of it. Down in the city, she knew, was her real life and her future, and the place where she felt most alive, where she felt vital. But up here on Meredian Hill she felt herself an old soul, secure, with a place in the universe all her own, completely comfortable in her skin. As it was her day and hers alone, she wore nothing under her dress. Alone and buoyant, she jumped on the swing and sang the first song that came in to her head: Papa was a rolling stone/Wherever he lay his hat was his home. On and on, she sang. Her voice rising, the only sound around. She swung higher and higher. The hem of her dress flying open. The breeze caressing her wide.
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