Needless to say there was no progress on the patio that weekend, however the following Saturday I woke up late to find that the slabs were laid out in preparation for work and William was hard at work trying to dig up a area of turf, he was really struggling as it was a hot humid day, Rachel kept popping out to urge him on and it was winding him up no end, finally a blazing row broke out with more than a few swear words exchanged, it ended when William stormed off to the pub and Rachel returned to the house slamming the door, about 10 minutes later I watched her leave the house and begin to try to lift the turf herself, so I wandered across and said hello she seemed pleased to see me and dropped her spade “fuck him, he is a bone idle waste of space” she said then added “I guess you heard all the swearing, what a blight on the estate we must be” she smiled and I smiled too “fancy a coffee over at mine” I asked, she gave me a knowing look before accepting, once back in my flat she. Nothing like how I was when I was 13. When they ask me why I have slutty stripper outfits in my closet, I tell them they are mines. They ask why I do it or if I’m gay. I simply reply I’ve had my time being a male and enjoyed it but I know that I feel better about myself when I’m a girl. I have a more vibrant and energetic attitude about life when I live this way. Being dressed and dolled up. It doesn’t bother me because I’ve accepted myself that what matters. The criticism from my family hit me really hard though. I’ve tried to kill myself 2 times because of it and was unsuccessful. I was confused and tried to run away from who I truly am and it hurt me. Because the people I loved didn’t accept me, pushed me away and called me a freak, it made me depressed and suicidal. Becoming more feminine has helped me overcome that. I’m more open to talking about it because it helps suppress those demons. It’s about addressing problems first and not letting others affect your life decisions. I’m.
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