The Seven Oaks Lodge was nothing more than a flophouse for transients. The desk clerk was asleep behind the counter when I stepped into the lobby.The dank little room assaulted my sensitive nose as soon as I opened the door. It reeked of too many years of whiskey, cum and shit. If you would cram your nose into the nasty ass crack of a three-day-old corpse of a cheap, drunken whore you could get a feel for what I was enduring.I dropped my gear on the counter and spoke in a loud voice at the same time. The effect startled the old clerk out of his drunken stupor and almost into action."What do you want?" the old man slurred between rotten teeth."What the fuck do you think I want? This is what's left of a motel isn't it?" No need to be insulting. This place was a glory to behold once. We catered to be best that came down the pike in our day." That must have been a while back. Where did they tie the horses back then?" That's enough of that. Do you want a room or not?" Does it smell any. Quite how they made this mistake is lost to the mists of time, but it's thought that an inconveniently-creased map passed back to the National Geographical Institute in St. Paul may have contributed to the complete disappearance of seventy square miles of prime real estate, at the very heart of which lies the town of Lake Wannacum. When Minnesota was properly defined in 1849, no-one thought to include the forty-some families who called Lake Wannacum home, and when it became the 32nd state to join the Union in 1858, the tiny geographical anomaly went completely unnoticed. To this day, a quick glance at the map will tell you that I should be typing this thirty feet under the murky waters of Lake Kantwate.But the folks of Lake Wannacum aren't the type to be troubled by questions of actual existence; rather, they're more concerned with the crop that's lying in O'Hannigan's field, waiting on the replacement part for his combine harvester, or the price of gasoline over at the Lucky.
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