Now, I'm not one to complain but that's one of the problems with being a worldwide famous A-list celebrity, like what I am, it's just one red carpet event after another. It all starts out fine because you're all excitable at having an actual excuse to buy yourself a yummy new outfit but before you know it you're fixing tiny rags of fabric together with safety pins or glueing Gold Amex cards together to make a dress or wrapping a dead swan around your amazingly photogenic flesh or forcing your tootsies into a pair of Alistair McQueen Armadillo shoes with bacon slices clinging to your sexual organs. But even worse than red carpet events is the godawful plebs who accost you in the street. Now I know that life as a saddo is a pretty dreary affair and that actually spotting an honest-to-God, bona fide, super-celebrity such as myself is a cause of instantaneous trouser spunkies, soggy knickering, and all loss of bladder control, but this slice of Banoffee Pie isn't just going to eat itself. Do you want to hear those words?'Well, if they are not harmful, yes, ' she replied.'No, they are not harmful. In fact they are the loveliest words I have ever heard, he said.'My. My, what's so lovely about them, tell me, she cooed.You said 'By touching them you have found out so much, I wonder what you would say after kissing them' he replied.'My goodness do you still remember those words? I was just teasing you big boy'.'No you were serious', he replied.'Really, ' she asked playfully?'Yes, ' he said.'May be you have mistaken' saying this she laughed.'No, I am pretty sure ', he said.'What makes you so sure' she asked gently?'Coz your lips were sparkling' he shot back.'How do you know they were sparkling', she questioned again?'Because I have mastered the art of facial therapy and I know exactly when they are sparkling, gleaming, lustrous, glossy, radiant or polished.' He said.Hearing all these words Mala was shocked. She could not say anything. She was silent.'Now what are you.
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