. promise me you won’t tell... not ever... EVER!”“Cross my heart,” I crossed myself. “We’re Sisters, right?”She nodded.“Sisters!”*I went downstairs feeling guilty as well as queasy and made us both mugs of strong black coffee. Then the two of us cleaned away every last trace of our nocturnal visitors from the house before getting bathed and dressed.There were small bruises on my hips and buttocks, my vulva was red raw and the hot soapy water stung me badly as I stepped into the bath but it was a discomfort I was happy to bear.Johnny was due to come home around five o’clock so I made myself scarce in the early afternoon. I’m not sure what Jackie did but I suspect it involved sleep followed by a great deal of dressing and make-up.Later that evening, I took a detour from my normal evening dog-walking route so as to pass their cottage both on the way out and on the way back. On both occasions there was a low glow in the main bedroom and the muffled sound of voices; the voices of people. You struggle just enough as I steal my kiss; protesting for only a moment before relenting and reciprocating with an unspoken affirmative. We are in that moment "now" where terror meets surrender . There is still so much unsaid between us and yet instinctively we know we are pushing each other into sticky places guarded by hawthorns and brier patches. It is in this moment I know I can let you in; at the same time I am so terrified of letting you know me I am paralyzed. Your safety and gentleness swallow that fear in quiet solace in a way that makes it okay to let you have those guarded places, unprotected, vulnerable, scarred.Your legs release their stronghold for a more delicate dance; my hands release your wrists to push that one stray lock of hair from your eyes. As we relax into each other and once again slide together our coupling slows so as to stop time and find that deep, easy ethereal place where only you and I exist. With you, I want not just to prolong our connection but.
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