I cannot concentrate. I feel the handcuffs being placed around my wrists and ankles for the first time. I feel my leg getting wet from the thought. I suddenly don't want Nick at my house in hopes that Pete and Amber will involve me tonight. But there is no guarantee that it will even happen. What if the last time they got me involved it was the last time? What if the stop doing it all together? Do I dare ask Nick to do those things to me?" I know I tied him this morning. But what if he is not into it like Pete and Amber. I am hyperventilating. I take a drink of water. My hands are shaking. I start to wonder why I got involved in all of this. It is making me crazy. What if I would have told Pete I thought he was sick tying his loving wife up like that and to let her go. I would have the laugh now. I would have spoiled their plan to get me involved. I could be the one in control. I could have had Pete arrested! I suddenly feel powerful. It's my turn to be in control. I get up and close. ”Elkhart leaned forward.” I like the whole spooky thing with cloaks and masks and chants and all this! It gives a sense of unity to those participating and a sense of security! We have this great cave at Muspelheim, with a few torches and red lights it be perfect!”Elena took of her mask and said.” Are you really 3000 years old? That is fantastic! The many things you must have seen!”“Actually I have seen more in the last year than all my life before. It was Eric who got me the idea.” He motioned with his hand. “Go take of that mask; I thought you learned your lesson back at the baths. Don’t be ashamed for it. You look nice!”I did and as always when my disguise was discovered even by those who knew I felt odd and ashamed and awfully aware of the female clothing on my body.Egill looked at me from his cold clear eyes. “You still doing it after all I told you! You judge way to fast and to hard! That includes most of all you. So quit polluting my mind with your gloomy self doubt.
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