Mostly I’m some character in whatever show or movie I watch before I go to sleep. In this it feels like I’m a ghost to everyone around me. At least that’s what it feels like, that is until I start passing by people. Then slowly I start noticing that people are actually saying something to me. At first it looks like their lips are moving but nothing is coming out. I can’t hear what they are saying. Then after the tenth person or so I notice they are saying, “Captain.” Great now I’m the captain of the ship. Hell might as well go with it and see how this dream turns out. I walked around trying to figure out my way to the bridge. Whoever filmed movies or TV shows with space ships sure made it look like getting to the bridge really really simple. I swore I must have gotten lost at least twice. Thank you in my dream there were diagrams on how to get the bridge at every corner. As I traveled my way to the bridge, at least I hope I going the right way, I noticed something peculiar. The. You could never be married to me."I smiled. Pedantic asshole. Which is what Sean called me. While hewas packing. "True enough. Anyway, your count is not good. 15,000.The average is..." 150k. At a minimum. But, I heard chemo can cause that." His voicewavered a little and I could see the fear in his eyes. I'd say I wantedto hug him, to comfort him. But I didn't. Not after all these years."It can. But not this time. You have Stage 4 multiple myeloma. It'snot getting better." That the way you talk to patients?" Sometimes. Believe it or not, I wish I could give you better news. Alifetime of treating your body like shit has consequences."He looked at me, his eyes cloudy. "Nothing I've read says smoking hasany effect." That was the old dad, the scumbag garmento."It doesn't help. Nor does being morbidly obese. Amazing a heartattack didn't get you first." I looked at the chart again. "If we canstabilize your count, I may, MAY, be able to get you into a trial..." A trial..
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