Like drug addict in recovery, like drunk in program–except when I fall, others do, too. Fell today. Quiet parts of me ask ‘Why?’, louder parts ask ‘When next?’. Locked in middle is me and body of suspect in most recent job. Body is innocent. Found out two minutes ago. Ten years. Three months. Two minutes. Half-second. Body and me sitting on bench in Macall Bridge Park, all the time in the world. Make no excuses, tell no tales, no shifting blame. Mauled innocent kid, tonite, based on bad info. Stalked and preyed and dropped on Body… Body didn’t deserve it, Body didn’t do anything wrong. Could cry about it. Could get choked up. Lose focus. But choking up, losing focus, doesn’t help find guilty people. Every minute wasted on introspection is another minute Guilty gets away. Another mile down highway in stolen car. Another quarter spent on phone calls to friends for help. Should be out there looking. But, two minutes with Body is least I could do. Two minutes to collect self. Apologize.. Let him learn to communicate, then I will test him on his social conscience. He will come around.Helen was now three months pregnant. She glowed with the life within her. Laura had been off the pill for a month and we were trying to get her into a similar condition. Seiko was always quiet but I could all the time see in her eyes the expectation of when she could throw her pills away, too. I was still not sure of Sonia but the bookies had given her more than an even chance of getting pregnant by me soon, too.The whole family was with me in Cuba, even though it was the hottest months. Mom and dad and the entire family were very happy with us. Aron was fifteen and his hand was always holding Mineko's. I was fairly certain that he would want her for his wife soon. I even started preliminary plans because of the problems I foresaw.I was disturbed at the airport, for there were a lot of children. They were mostly young girls with Helen, Laura, Seiko and now Sonia dolls. Many had voices.
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