I was real scared of being watched all the time, and I kinda resented it. I was thinking... 'God, you're always watching me, so how come you don't come down here and help me out every so often?' I'd pray for stuff, but I never got one single thing I wanted. Not one single fucking thing. And it wasn't as though I was praying for money or anything like that, 'cause I knew that we were supposed to be poor and God was OK with that and that to want money was sinful ... but I'd pray for stuff like having friends in Salinas or hearing from my friends in Nebraska, or maybe hearing from my dad, or being a bit happier. I never got any of those things, so in the end ... I just prayed that God could change my attitude towards my own life, to have Satan leave me alone and be content with what God gave me. I didn't even get that. So I finally gave up on praying 'cause it wasn't doing me any good." ... and you were ... about 16 or so when that happened?" Yeah ... towards the end of my sophomore. Zahn and the reply she got was, "I'm disappointedin you."Renee asked why and Luke's mom said, "You did not invite Lori to yourparty."Being a brave little girl, instead of automatically thinking that anadult was right Renee knew Alice was wrong. She corrected the lady whowrongly admonished her. "That was Lori's fault. She said she would notshow up to a party if Luke was there."The truth did not register to Alice. She was as closed as a bank onSunday to hearing anything which would make her think wrong about whyLori was excluded from the party. Her daughter acting like such a bratwould destroy the narrative Alice wanted.On the way home Luke was scared. Somehow, he was in trouble. The worstpart of being in trouble was Luke had no idea why. He did nothing wrong,but knew the guilty verdict was already in. Now the sentencing was allthat was left.When the mom and her convicted son got home, Lori was screaming "Put himin a dress." She repeated what she wanted over and over again..
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