’ She started slowly. ‘It’s complicated. In some ways it just didn’t seem appropriate until recently. Either I wasn’t ready to tell you, or you weren’t ready to hear it. I’ve tried to get up the courage to tell you this a half dozen times, but something always came up to stop me. ‘Right after the separation, when you told me to get out, I was still trying to blame you for my troubles. Even when you rubbed my nose in my behavior, I still kept on trying to find some way to shift some of the blame. I hate to admit it, but I wasn’t ready to apologize then, because I still hadn’t accepted responsibility for what I did.’ Anne smiled ruefully and said, ‘Besides, what was the point? It seemed pretty clear that you and I were going our separate ways. As long as we could be civil to each other when it came to the girls…’ Anne shrugged. ‘Anyway, the lack of an apology didn’t seem to be bothering you any. From the little the girls told me, you seemed to be adjusting well.’ Anne stopped her. I was raped by my boyfriend, so I moved here, and then I saw you and I wanted to be with you but was scared as well" and then she collapsed on me crying, I rubbed her back and soothed her until she sat back up "you don't hate me do you?" I laughed "no I am just really turned back on by you" and she gave me a small smile, I looked into her eyes and wanted her so badly "I know why you would be scared by us.. guys, but we aren't all rapists Molls" she crumpled and but repeated I knows over and over again, we lay together for a long time, hours maybe until I heard her softly snoring did I get up and stumble down stairs for something to eat, I found peanut butter and bread and ate mounds of that until I heard her light foot steps come down the stairs, she looked a lot better and gave me a smile as she stuck her finger in the jar to find some peanut butter, then she turned around walked to the bathroom happily licking peanut butter off her finger, thinking of this made me laugh but I knew.
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