I was so startled that I struggled, but she held down until the film was finished."That was wonderful, darling'." She exclaimed. "I took care to keep my head out of the pictures, so they'll look like you were fighting for your maidenly virtue against your boyfriend. There should be some sexy shots of your pretty undies 'cause your legs were kicking and I made sure your skirts were out of the way.Now I want you to go back to the bedroom and take off all your pretty finery except your wig and makeup. Call me when you're ready and we'll get you into something else."Alice unzipped my dress before I Left. I slithered out of my dainties and returned each item to its proper place. While I was undressing, I heard Alice roaming around the house but thought nothing of it. Stark naked, I called to her."Close your eyes, Barbara, and I'll give you a surprise." She answered. I waited, wondering what surprise she could mean. I heard her enter the room and come close to me. Next I felt something. I (and most of the folks I know), acquired a fair education without student loans (it’s called work) and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of an odd underachiever.I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens and I honor those who served in the Armed Forces, which now makes me a militant.Please help me come to terms with the new me ... because I’m just not sure who I am anymore!I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new found changes in my life!I just can’t imagine or understand what’s happened to me so quickly!Funny, it’s all just taken place over the last 8 years!As if all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with ... I’m now afraid to go into either one of the restrooms!This One Is Compliments of SmokeyjoeThe Eighteen BottlesI had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else...I said I would and proceeded.
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