I sat Pilar and Walker down and smiled, “Green light.”Pilar got there first. Nudged Walker, “Fuck-permission.”Walker stared at me, “You sure, Winter?”I didn’t joke around, “Yes, babe. After Greta Gunther ... what you and Pilar went through ... yes, I’m sure. Be gentle. Enjoy.” I handed Pilar her first month of birth control pills. A gift from her mother. She accepted solemnly.She’ll be fine, our Pilar.Irony is woven in to the fabric of our lives, isn’t it? Maybe not for those who lead essentially shallow lives, unexamined lives. But most of us experience incongruities, wry coincidences, odd paradoxes, as we stumble along.I’m in counseling. Seeing Dr. Lindsey Conners three mornings a week. I resisted it for the usual dumb reasons. I’m tough. I’m fine. Don’t need any help.But that Oasis investigation. One of my Irregulars, Birdy Cummings, had her head blown off by a pointblank shotgun.Horrific as that was, my family -- Walker, Vanessa, Pilar -- were targeted to be killed by Greta. In a very short time she had come to make up his world. Thinking about it his mind quickly came to the conclusion that he did not want it any other way. John finished up his work as quickly as possible and made an excuse about an early doctor’s appointment, which was really more of a truth than a prevarication, and made his way to his car. John got into his car and opened his glove compartment verifying the red, silk scarf was where he put it then placed a key in the ignition and drove to his appointment. John liked to think of them as appointments but Mistress Vanessa fondly called them his training sessions. She had told him that all men needed training else their libidos would control their lives and that only brought on depression and guilt which was no way to lead a healthy and happy life. She had in a sense taken the pressures his sex drive placed on him and taken the reins. Her will was clearly strong enough to rein in his libido which left him a carefree person. For all that.
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