“You’re the strangest man I ever met,” she whispered.“I’ve wanted to leave you like this for years,” he said, kissing her again. “Ever since I was in high school.”She smiled. “Thank you. That’s quite a compliment. I want you to leave me like this a lot.”“That’s quite a compliment too,” he said, grinning.“You have no idea,” she said again. Her eyes drifted closed.By the time he walked out the door, she was asleep. His sperm, instead of draining out of her, drained deeper into her, pooling inside her womb. It wasn’t needed though. Two hours past, an egg, not quite out of her fallopian tube, had already been surrounded and defeated. By the time she woke, refreshed and starved, skipping to the kitchen to eat, naked and sticky with her lover’s extra spend coating her inner thighs, the chromosomes in the sperm and egg had merged, and the cell had changed in other ways, becoming, technically, a zygote. By the time, two days later, she put the sheets in the washing machine Bobby had. In a barely audible whisper, he says,"Who is this?"A very cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process.When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store.The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches."The judge then asked why she had done it.She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to.
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