After dousing my mother with health questions I confirmed her yoga schedule many years ago and came to the realization that I am not now, nor have I ever been, in the need for a psychiatrist to tell me I must take Prozac.To finish silently reading his memoirs would engulf me in the knowledge that there were many places on my infantile body my father would use for his selfish pleasure. My naked bottom, my nubile little pussy, he would even use my tiny feet.Is this why I have such terrible oral fixations now and still dream of my daddy in bed with me? I also never seem to be able to get completely clean and scrub myself in the shower as if there is a sticky substance on my face and legs that won't ever come off.Excerpt from memoirs(page 39):"I felt a bit nauseous the first time I pulled her from under the sheets to lay her head on my pillow giving her a kiss goodnight as I drifted back off to my dreams and a load of my semen appeared to be drooling from the corner of her mouth. It was. . Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!" OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot."OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door."OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face."OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along."OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police."OLD" IS WHEN..."Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today"OLD" IS WHEN... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot."OLD" IS WHEN ... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.AND"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokesThese are compliments of DennisThe North Dakota Department of Labor claimed a small Bismarck farmer was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out.
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