I was there, and I was gang raped by both of these forces because that's what happens to women at times of war, and to a female spy even doubly and triply so. We're raped, Mr Pendrill. We get screwed and tortured and we learn to accept it because that's part of our job. In Chechnya, they were good at it. They knew the knobs to turn - how to tinker with a woman's head and rewire her persona. They knew how to re-work her self-image and shape her ideas of love, beauty, loyalty and romance until they became intertwined, contorted, ugly and unrecognizable. They turned sex into something to be feared, Mr Pendrill - something lurid and putrid; an expression of hate and not of love, and I admired them for that skill. Having seen what they can do, I tell you: in our line of work, if a man hasn't raped a woman, that's a serious deficiency. Materially so."What could Howard say? How could he refute her?He knew that he was onto a loser and so he didn't argue too hard. He merely said: "An agent. Vin fought through her haze of pain and memories to slowly regain consciousness. She felt a little queasy. Looking narrowly through her lashes around the room, she could still see Jenna was unconscious and Doc was busy running around gathering items, muttering to himself. Something about rain and floods? I wonder who needs his attention now? I hope that it isn't Katrina. It would be a fine thing, if on our first assignment, we all got laid up.Vin concentrated on relaxing all the muscles that were tense with pain and gradually too the pain subsided enough that she was able to breathe deeply and slowly. I should never had tried that, Vin chastised herself. I have only done that once before, it nearly killed me. It is lucky that I am so far away or else it might have.She couldn't help but wonder about her Dyarae and how they were doing. It was not the first time that she had pondered on her feelings for them and how genuine they were or if that was a result of how they had become her.
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