And the bladder of God moved, creating the waters.And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. No, no, he then said, make that a Bud Light: and he had one. And God drank the beer and it was good.And the Lord God grimaced and an enchanted gust of wind blew forth from him. And the Fart blew the waters of the earth together unto one place, leaving dry land for God to rest his beer on. (Incidentally, a less well known consequence of this holy hurricane was that it caused Lucifer, God's favorite angel, to quit his post as God's errand boy, and flee as far from Heaven as possible.)And God said, Let the Earth bring forth trees bearing fruit, plants bearing pollen, and other green life. And the Lord God sneezed and saw that, hayfever excluded, it was pretty damn good for a first try. And God said, in a hoarse beer-befuddled slur, the trees and plants are catchy, but they are not quite enough. I'll make some animals; some who can eat the plants, and others who can eat the first. You immediately reach for me, take me in your arms and begin to moan with pleasure as your lips capture mine in a deep, luscious kiss. Your hands begin to explore my body and come to rest on my breast. In your hand, you feel my nipple swell to a peak. As I pull away, I say, ‘It may have started here but this is only the beginning.’ Taking you by the hand, I lead you to the bedroom. There you see more candles lit and find more rose petals sprinkled on the bed, and the door closes behind you. With my attention totally focused on you, I begin to undress you. One piece at a time, your clothes begin to fall to the floor until you are standing in front of me completely naked. Once again you take me into your arms as you begin to kiss the edge of my ear and your slide the tip of your tongue into my ear. Lightly, you trace my ear with your tongue on down to my neck as my head falls back. My knees begin to feel weak and my breath quickens. Still, even further, your kisses trail down until.
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