"Look, for example," and I showed her pictures of vaginas and penises see. To break the ice I said as funny as possible, "Oh, look, that looks like mine did!" That remark was her uitvluchtmogelijkheid and therefore they howled with laughter. Partly because she found it funny but it clearly also the attention of her secret expedition to distract. "Hmmmm, I wonder what the next page," I continued. On the next page were several pictures and drawings of vaginas. "Oh" said Monique, "that seems to be mine" and she pointed to a picture of a very hairy vagina, and she lay back all laughter. "Really?" I asked. For a moment I let fall a look at her crotch. Her response was to cross her legs. "Really?" I repeated. I looked at her intently. "No, no ..." and she was again purple. She flipped a page back to where the penises were. "But," she said "this looks a lot like ...". She did not finish her sentence but it was clear to me that my dick she meant. "Are you sure?" I asked almost surprised. "I. "Greetings, fair maidens," said Spirella. "My name is..." We ain't maidens, we're bleedin' maids," spat one. "And unless you brung an ice bag for my achin' tootsies in one of yer saddlebags, you can piss thyself off." You try walkin' down this ruddy alleyway with an unabridged dictionary on top of yer noggin," screeched another. "Practicin' your balance in these contraptions is worse than listenin' to the prime minister babble about his poxy baby, like squirtin' useful sperm in middle age is some great accomplishment." Ahem," Spirella continued, motioning to her own fabulous footwear which arched her calves in a delightfully alluring fashion. "Well, we are on a quest to return the ring..." Ooooh, you got yerself a ring, didja?" piped up another maid. "Bloody typical that a decent man would want himself a horsy for a bride." No, no, it's not that kind of ring," Spirella replied, a bit more wistfully than she intended. "Anyway, where are you headed?" Back to the scullery, if you must.
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