It was all a front. I needed something to make me forget about cheating, to make the problems in the marriage, no matter how small, go away so I wouldn't be tempted to cheat again. It's almost like the counseling was a form of rehab for the marriage. I felt so much guilt for cheating, so much anger at myself, such a huge desire to prove Darius wrong and not go black, that the counseling would help prevent me from relapsing with Darius. The counseling sessions weren't horrible. Jeff hated every minute of them. But they actually helped me voice some inner desires. I wanted us to be closer, do things together, maybe even exercise together. I wanted romance and steamy sex. The only anger in the counseling session was me with myself. They worked a little, too. Over the course of May and June, Jeff and I went out more. We went to movies, dinners, we had sex more. It was nothing compared to sex with Darius, but there was some intimacy there. I never orgasmed, but it wasn't. ”, I said. The party went well, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Lexie and I left around seven that night and both drove to my house. I was already in the shower when I heard her come through the door. I was drying myself off in the master bedroom when she walked in. “You want something to drink…... I’m going to the kitchen.”, I asked. “No, I’m fine.”, she answered. When I came back into the bedroom, I heard the shower running and the door was closed. I pulled back the covers on the bed and climbed in propping up the pillows. About ten minutes later Lexie came out in a short t-shirt and black laced panties. She walked over to her side on the bed and got in with that playful grin on her face.“Are you ever going to let me off the hook for leaving you?”, she asked. “Uh Lex, if I wouldn’t have let you off the hook would I be here?”, I replied. “No, I guess not….”, she answered. “Lexie, I love you……. Probably since the first day I met you. Not much is going to change that.”, I.
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