He was ready to slap her. He wanted to beat the sadness from her. She didn't deserve to be sad. The killers shouldn't cry at the funerals. His hand raised, the muscle in his neck twitched, the tendons in his shoulders and forearms readied for the signal. And then his hand paused to rub at his cheek and his other hand fell away from her head.He looked down at her. His own waterfall threatening. He smiled a dismantled smile. His hand fell to her face as his thumb traced her bottom lip. Ray turned and walked away. Her sniffles and cries beat a soft retreat as he left the room.It was an uneasy truce as Ray helped Dana get the kids fed and then in bed. He thought about what Liz said about trust earlier that day.Liz was such an insightful woman. He knew he was lucky to have been able to find her. She was intelligent and attractive. He respected her perception. She was definitely gifted in her field. She was frank and honest. These were traits that he had underestimated at one time. Maybe. The breath was pulled out of me by the simultaneous shocks; I gagged, and then retched on my empty stomach, panicking at the close embrace of the collar. He grabbed my arms again, padlocking them to the back of my collar on a short chain to complete my steel bondage. Then he left. I lay perfectly still for a while, on my left side, scared even to try to move at all for the pain it would bring. Then I did, moaning as I extended my elbows out and rolled fully onto my front. I grunted as my arms settled, uncomfortable again, but different and two close in my back to the collar for any kind of ease. I couldn't move at all from this position and I continued to cry, softly, drool and tears pooling on the hardwood floor. I must have slept for a while, because I was given the joy of awaking to this new, desperate predicament. The lights were off. It was fully dark. I had pissed myself and was lying in a vast cold puddle that reached my toes and chin. I tried to roll sideways, also desperate.
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