"It's empowering. Existential." It's dangerous. For the record, I’m not entirely comfortable with it."She swallows, throat rippling under my touch. "But you understand it. The trust placed in something outside your control. To yield to it." She turns her head to me.I nod in the near dark. Exhale. My whole life is, in many ways, out of my control. Everyone doing their best for me. Family treating me like I'm antique china. A pincushion for specialists to publish academic papers on the miracle boy for advancing their careers. It's arguable whether any of the blood that circulates my body is my own: I'm the expensive sum total of selfless donors. Where do I begin and they end?It was a fight to get my parents to agree to let me go away for the trip. What if I fell? What if I seized? What if I needed treatment?In the end, Niamh convinced them. Said she'd look out for me, and they trust her. Always have, since we grew up together and she's my best friend. I haven't told them about Dani,. ." --- he said in a whisper --- "We ... We just wanted you to know, it was fun talking with you."Lilly smiled.--- "It was fun for me also." --- she whispered back --- "I hope you also enjoyed fucking me. I'm not only a smart brain, you know." --- she joked, making the boy exhale through his nose.--- "Yes. That too." --- he said --- "Thank you."--- "No need, sir." --- she said, taking his hand into her pal --- "That's what I exist for." --- she said kissing his hand gently --- "I'm just sorry my filthy cunt is not worthy to be your first. Your first time should be with a girl, not a lousy whore like me."--- "Don't say that." --- he said, blushing.--- "I'm serious. I'm sure you'll find girls lining up for you, so make sure to choose wisely."--- "And what do you think should be the criterium of choice, wise ass?"He clearly meant it as a joke, but Lilly pondered his question for a second in silence.--- "Apart from not being a house prostitute, available for use 24/7?"--- "Yes. Apart from.
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