She said that Jenova wasn’t real. She said Jenova’s real name was Candace or something like that and that she used me. I was frustrated. I was mad, and angry and upset. I was crying and pounding the keyboard with my fist. The more I talked to Zeldah, and the more I began to call her, I made accusations of her being Jenova. She would get really pissed off at me and tell me that it wasn’t true, fuckoff and leave her alone. Eventually, I would contact her and start talking to her and it would just start all over again with me accusing her. In the past seven or eight months, I have learned to just talk to Zeldah, and be her friend. To stop accusing her of being Jenova and be friendly with her. It has been working. I’ve been calling Zeldah more and more now, as a friend. I know for a fact, in my mind and in my heart, that she IS Jenova. There is more then just ONE thing that makes me believe this too. Not just her voice, it was that her whole attitude, her personality and her. My mind was still a little foggy, so I told him that it was best if his father and I discussed it with him privately, later in the evening. I felt bad knowing that my son had seen me sucking another man’s cock, but it was time to let our c***dren know about our lifestyle and hope that they understood. I sat and finished my cigarette in the sun as my son asked a myriad of questions. He had seen me nude before, so I wasn’t worried about lying in the sun naked in front of him. I answered as many of his questions as I could and when Mikey came home, I told him what had happened. He figured out my d**g use again when my son told him that I was smoking. He was a bit irate, but it was more important to him that we set our c***dren straight on the matter of our sexual lifestyle. All 5 of our k**s came to the house that weekend and we had a big discussion about what had happened and why. It was a huge question and answer meeting, but it was also a way to show the love we shared and explain.
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