President Obama goes first: "What will the USA be like in 100 years time"The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out:"The country is in good hands under the new president, crime is Non-existent, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. There are no worries"Gordon Brown thinks "It's not bad this time machine, I'll have a bit of that" so he asks: "What will Britain be like in 100 years time?"The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout.But he just stares at it."Come on Gordon" says Obama, "Tell us what it says" I can't! It's all in Arabic!"Joe wanted to buy a motorbike.He doesn't have much luck until one day he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years Old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such Great condition for 10 years.'Well, it's quite simple, really, '. Not this year. I'm not gonna do it. So just forget it." Why, Bud Bundy," she pouted, her lips forming sultry curves. "I'm hurt. Well, OK, maybe I have been a little hard on you. But not this year. This year I got you something really great!"Bud did a calculated double-take. "R-really? Something good?" Absolutely." Well, let me have it!"She pulled a box sloppily wrapped in tinfoil from under the couch. "Condolences for your loss," it said on the card. He looked at it, then at her. "Well, it was all I could find in the drawer," she said. "Go on, open it."Bud shredded the foil, uncovering a pale green box marked "Ferguson's Prime Dates."Puzzled, he pulled it open. The fruit squatted in individual brown paper cups."Get it?" Kelly was giggling loudly. "Dates! 'Cause you couldn't get one any other way!" She poked him in the ribs. "Dates!" Uh, yeah, funny, Kel," Bud said through gritted teeth. Inside, he was furious, but he couldn't afford to let his anger show. Not yet."Oh, wait, there's.
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