But we had corresponded so intimately in the nerd-chat-rooms that we decided that we were best-friends-forever. Hence “Biff.”I had no idea who she was, what she looked like, or where she lived. For all I knew, she might have been a 90-year-old Ukrainian babushka; or even a guy. People have no gender in cyberspace. And status isn’t determined by looks or money. You rise, or fall, by your intelligence.Biff was the smartest person I have ever known. We chatted for two continuous years. It wasn’t just a few messages. We would go back-and-forth for hours each day. Normal people wouldn’t have as much sustained conversation in a real-world setting, anywhere. But for me, virtual schmoozing with Biff and her incredible mind was my form of reality.Our discussions ranged everywhere. We would go from topics like geo-politics, to why anybody would ever a particular TV show funny. She had a scope of intellect and an understanding of humankind that dwarfed and humbled me and her perceptions about. Additionally I have checked with Mum regarding the accusation that I am the bastard offspring of Eva Braun and Lucretia Borgia and she assures me that she's never been to either Berlin or Florence. So ya boo sucks *pokes out tongue*. All that fuss over a small piece of meat and a steak tenderiser. Really. As for the endlessly repeated suggestion that I am a man hater, well that is utter pish and nonsense. There is only one man I hate, and if you woke each morning next to his porcine snuffling, grunting and God awful scratching I'm sure you'd hate him too. Thankfully this week's letter is from a small, insignificant piece of punctuation (bet you didn't see that cumming) and I've already girded my loins in anticipation of all the 'Grammer Nazis' complaints. So without any further ado: Dear Cum,Please, please help. I am at my wit's end, and you're my last hope, in fact, my only hope.You may recall how I was once so rudely used, or is that abused by the gothic nerd and pushed, stuffed,.
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