A couple, leaning in close, shared a tender moment as they clinked their glasses together. “How am I ever going to pretend to enjoy the veal?” she pondered, stifling a shudder. A sudden bustle caused her to snap her head around and she saw two grinning waiters carrying a birthday cake which had fizzing sparklers all over it. She glanced at Bob, to share the moment, but he remained oblivious as the rest of the room began to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to an older gentleman wearing a shiny, pointed birthday hat and surrounded by his family and friends. She smiled at his excited expression, noticing the way that his elderly wife stroked his arm with a loving expression on her face. Ellen had a sudden pang as she thought of her own late husband. She knew for a fact that he would never have left her to her own devices like this. She felt a little cross with Bob as she looked back at him again, still engrossed in his texting. Maybe she was being too harsh? Perhaps, since she hadn’t really dated. I was adamant that I wasn't. But was I?I don't know. I was confused back then. Being female and beingattracted to females is gay too. But being female and being attractedto males isn't gay. So was I gay or was I straight?I didn't know. And I still don't.But Darren is cute. Do I want him to kiss me? Yes, I think I want that.Do I love him? No. Do I have a crush on him? Maybe. I don't know yet.And I don't have any idea how he feels about me. I mean there is stilla good chance he sees the guy from ages ago. Do I overthink this? Yes.Absolutely. Can I stop? No. Somehow, I can't.Unfortunately, we could meet over the next weeks. Our work schedulesinterfered constantly. I was working too much anyway. I should look forsomething else. Maybe my own business. As photographer. I'm good atthat. But having an own business means a lot of work and crazy hourstoo. And I don't know if I want to have a relationship right now. Idon't know if I'm ready. Maybe I'm just curious? I mean I can't saythat I'm.
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