I was such an idiot for thinking she was talking about the sex, and to top it off, now I had to break up with her a second time! If there was ever an award for being an accidental asshole, I’d win it for sure.“Matt?”“Just give me a moment, all right?”I stabbed wildly for something to tell Carmen. If I hadn’t been talking about the breaking up, then what? If I told her I thought she’d meant the sex, how insensitive would that be? But what else could I say? I finally stood up, avoiding her eyes.“Carmen, look. I think you must’ve heard me wrong. I didn’t say things were going to go back to how they were before.”“But you said—”“I know what I said. I didn’t really know what you meant though. All I wanted was to say I’m sorry for the way I treated you. But I didn’t ... I’m not looking to be with anyone, right now.”“You said we could go back to how things were,” she said, seemingly on the verge of tears.“I don’t think I said that. Maybe you said that. I don’t remember. I still would like to. . I, I, it's always been a subject that's interested me..... and, and my course work over the last year is, is.... has shown, I think, that..." I cut off your attempt at an answer with a raised hand, and then sigh deeply. "What you have done so far, and what you are now, is irrelevant, young lady - this is about what you can become. The students I take have to be prepared to put aside everything they think they know and look beyond the norms, beyond what they think are their limits. Do you understand me?" "I think so," you reply, uncertainly. I stand up and walk over from behind my desk. I take your elbow and encourage you to stand and turn you to face the window, which looks out onto the college quadrangle, its immaculate lawn bordered with ancient oaks. "To be worthy of a place here, you must be prepared to be stretched. Do you think you are prepared for that?" As I speak, you become aware of my hand sliding up the smooth skin of your inner thigh, under your skirt. "Yes," you say,.
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