I walked into the living room to check on Mikey, and found him fast asleep under his blanket. Then I noticed his shorts were laying on the back of the sofa. Hmm, was my son naked under that blanket? 2 days had gone by, and I had been more and more curious to see him. After all, doctors, nurses, and even his dad had been able to peek…I was feeling left out! He had always been a sound sleeper, and he had taken some pain meds, too. I knelt down beside the sofa, and just thought for a moment. What harm could it do, I thought. I’m just going to look to satisfy my own curiosity then I’ll cover him back up.I slowly peeled back the blanket, my heart pounding with anticipation. What I saw amazed me. I guess it hadn’t dawned on me that he would be shaven, but he was. His little hairless penis would all nestled tight in his foreskin, and his balls were slightly swollen from the surgery. I couldn’t look away. I knew this was wrong. But I left him uncovered and just stared at him. Winter was when the tears came, when the gray strands became more prominent, when the darkness of the night mirrored the despair of my soul. ***** Early in the springtime of my sixth year at Faller’s Forest, a television production crew came to interview me. They were looking for stories about the ‘forgotten side’ of racing: the life of a volunteer trackside worker, for example, without whom no race could safely ever take place. Somehow, they had learned about my duties, and when they contacted the owners of Faller’s Forest to ask permission, it was readily granted. Initially, I could have cared less, but as I thought more about it in the days leading up to the interview, I realized that I truly had some stories to tell – unglamorous stories, but interesting stories nonetheless. And, in the back of my mind, I realized and hoped that this would be a way to connect with my daughter. I would not see her, but perhaps fate would allow her to see me. The crew was at my door before.
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