I thought of going to a girl's clothes store where everybody studies each other's clothes - a juniors shop. My heart raced. I thought that if anyone openly asked why I was wearing a girly blouse or girly jeans, I'd probably die of embarrassment.I could try the direct approach and say "I like wearing girls pretty clothes, but I really love getting caught in them - by you!" Or I could turn the tables on them my saying, "I'm also wearing a cute bra and panties, and my wife promises she'll make it all worthwhile when I return with flowers for her." Deciding instead on a drug store, I could image myself walking through the hair care or makeup aisles as if to say, "Look at me!"Maybe if there was a girl there old enough, I could ask her what kind of mascara I should get, loving the thought of letting her know I was dressed in nothing but girl's clothes. Like her.When I got to the drug store, there were two teenage girls walking on the sidewalk. I parked and got out of the car anyway, my. I had already moved up one belt color, or kyu, to yellow, and was now working towards orange. Curiously, in official Japanese based aikido, everyone is white, until they graduate from kyu status to dan status, where everyone is black belt. The multicolored belt system is an American innovation.I also got Dad to trade in our family’s Royal manual for a used IBM Selectric, and amazingly got him to cough up half the difference in price. Typing homework became much faster. Hamilton didn’t like that I could use a typewriter, but he had pushed his luck too far lately and he was afraid of fucking with it, on fear of Dad’s anger.Tuesday afternoon I rode on the bus over to Shelley’s house, and she held my hand on the bus, which generated more than a few stares from some of the other kids. We walked hand in hand up to her house. Once inside, I held up our hands and said, “Thanks, I think.”She gave me an exasperated look and took back her hand. “Carl, I don’t know what it is you think of me,.
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