“Oh, do stop grovelling, you pathetic creature. You need to be taught a lesson, Collins, a serious lesson. The Lord will doubtless punish you in the next life. I, however, intend to do so in this one.”Lady Catherine strode over to the door and turned the key. Then, slapping the riding-whip repeatedly against her thigh, she walked over to Mr Collins, who was still sniffling on the floor.“Take your clothes off, Collins,” she said calmly, as if instructing her maid to remove the tea tray.“I, I beg your pardon, your Ladyship. Surely you don’t mean…”“Of course I mean it, you nincompoop. Would I say it if I didn’t mean it? Take off your clothes. All of them.”Mr Collins stood up and slowly removed his clerical garments, watched by Lady Catherine, whip twitching in her hand. At last he stood naked in front of her, his hands cupped over his diminutive genitals. Lady Catherine took the riding-whip and cracked it hard against his bare thigh, leaving a long red weal.“Take your hands away, let me. The laptop speaker rustled as she heard Brett ferreting around in his lab. "How about a tennis ball?" How come you have a tennis ball in the lab?" Emergencies." What kind of an emergency requires a tennis ball?" This one, dummy. You ready?"She moved in line with the halo. "As I'll ever be."Karen focused on it and held her breath as Brett counted down in the distance. He reached zero. She waited. The ball arced into the room and bounced twice before rolling towards her, and she let out a shrill cry. "Oh my God, it works. It actually fucking works!"She bent to pick up the ball. Squished it. The structure was intact. She broke out into a grin. "This is amazing!" Throw something back. Come on, this is fun."Karen scanned the untidy lab, eyes coming to rest on her rucksack containing her forgotten lunch. She grabbed an apple from the bag. "Ready?" Hit it."She tossed the apple underarm towards the hole and marvelled as it disappeared. No flash of light. No Stargate special effects. Just.
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