"A smattering of laughter filled the room. The comedian appeared not to notice the reaction to his joke."This drunk comes up to this matron setting at a bar waiting for her husband and sets on the stool beside her. 'Hey Lady?' 'Yes?' 'You got the flattest tits I ever saw. My God you look like a boy.' The lady picks up her purse and knocks the drunk to the ground."He crawls back up to the stool and looks back at the woman. 'Hey Lady. You got the biggest ass I've ever seen. It's huge.' She halls off and knocks him off the stool again."He gets back on the stool and says, 'Hey Lady, you're in luck. I like you. I'm gonna tell you how to get bigger tits.' 'Oh really, how's that?' 'Well, you go in the john and take some toilet paper and rub it between your tits.' 'Really, and how is that supposed to make my breasts larger?' 'It worked for your ass didn't it?'"I have to tell you, this energy crisis is sure changing things. I was in San Francisco last week and I got caught in the elevator with. Sitting in bed, dazed and looking around, I shook my head and swiped the hair off my face, and then tried to rub the sleep from my eyes. The buzzing continued, and as I became more alert I raised my hand and slammed down on top of the alarm clock so hard it flew off the end table onto the floor. But at least the annoying noise had stopped.I slumped back down and pulled the cover up to my chin. I felt like I had just fallen asleep -- and that wasn't far from the truth. When my mother brought a man home I didn't get much sleep, and last night with her drug supplier was no exception. But it was a weekday and I was not going to miss school. Not that my mother would have cared. It's just that I intended to get an education and get a good job. Then I could either pay for my mother's rehabilitation or at least her drugs so she wouldn't have to turn tricks. I swore I would never be like her -- NEVER!The shower woke me up and when I went downstairs I found my mother snoring on the couch. I.
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