I ate more than I should have, but after all the fast food and throw together suppers that I had been making for myself the past couple of weeks, it was nice to have a real meal again. We talked the whole time but it was mostly about what had gone on the past two weeks in our lives and nothing about Katie. I had finished off my first glass of wine and had poured myself a second one while we ate. After we were done I asked if she wanted any more wine, as her glass was empty as well. Elizabeth thought for second and replied, ‘Just a half.’ I poured it, emptied the bottle into my glass and she said, ‘Go make yourself comfortable in the living room while I get things cleaned up.’ I said, ‘Thank you for supper Elizabeth. That was great.’ She replied, ‘I just want you to feel comfortable here and I know that you could use a good meal.’ I just smiled and got up and walked over to the living room. The furniture was older but it was in good shape. Katie had always taken pride in how her house. ..we wouldn't have afuture. My marriage is one hundred percent going to be with someonefrom one of the major clans, in an arranged marriage. Mother, I know,will try to find someone I am compatible with, she wants me to be happy('I mean happy enough,' I think to myself, 'she's not going to scuttle achoice 'deal' entirely on my feelings'.), but she's totally in control,and it's going to be the Lees or the Carvers or the Wainwrights or the'you name its', and that's the way it is or will be. So don't fall forme my darling Ismy, I could easily fall for you, and it will end only inheartbreak and tears. Find some French gurl and......." I trail off.Goddess I feel so miserable. I've known since I was a little gurl, thatunlike my sisters, I wasn't ever going to have final say or perhapsreally any say about the choice of my goddess/spouse. This is the firsttime that it really hit me, I might really be in love with someone elseand it wouldn't end happily ever after and it could really.
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