And then I saw it was James. I pushed him, but he had his hands between my legs. Then the lights went on and you were standing in front of me, and you looked at me like I was scum." She stopped, her head bent low."What happened then?" he asked softly.She looked at him. "You beat the crap out of me and I woke up." That was just a stupid dream, Josie." No, you don't understand! It's more! I went to this conference with James. We had two or three drinks in the hotel bar after dinner and then, nothing! I wake up naked with James in my bed and my head was splitting with pain. I don't know how I got there; I can't remember a thing of that night. When I'm drunk, I'm a slut. That's what scared me so much when that asshole tried to pull me to the dance floor. I was feeling drunk and I was afraid I'd go with him and be a slut again."Henry looked at her quizzically. "So you really don't remember taking Elrin to your room after having two or three drinks?"Josie nodded."That's hard to believe,. He thought I was telling him I didn't care enough about him, and that I thought he was temporary. That was not my thinking. I was used to men moving on. I figured once the sex novelty wore off, he would want to leave me. I wanted that to be easy for him when he did.When we first started dating, people who knew about and understood our situation would ask how I got involved with such a young man. My standard answer was, "Because seventeen will go into thirty-nine as many times as you want it to!" He was just supposed to be a Toy-Boy. Most women would never consider having a love affair with someone so young. But my evil twin, Lori, was forever young sexy, and single. She was very much in control at that time in my life.When I was under too much stress or was too unhappy Lori would come out. I never knew how long she would stay in control. I know that it seems like a convenient disorder, and people think I made it up to excuse my bad behavior. But my rational side thought this affair.
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