She repeated this each night of his first week back. Each morning after their intense love making, Tamara went into work expecting Billie to comment on her “glow”. Either Billie was too preoccupied to notice or her glow did not exist. By the end of the week, Tamara was convinced it was the latter. As she laid in bed next to Craig, Tamara couldn’t help but think that no amount of fucking Craig would give her that same glow she had after her one night with Kent. Craig was a good lover, very attentive and loving, but Kent was a great lover. Even though it has been over a month since that one night, Tamara still had a very clear memory of all the things they did and how it made her feel. Even now, with Craig right next to her, she couldn’t control the warm flush that came over her body while thinking of Kent. Craig turned to Tamara and softly kissed her shoulder, “Are you still awake?’ he asked. Tamara turned to him and smiled, “I’m still awake. Actually, I can’t sleep.” “Me, too. I. You notice the binds still attached to the bed hanging loosely from each post. Across the room you see him standing there, his back to you. He is half dressed, wearing a pair of Levi’s with no shirt and barefoot. You think back on the night before, you smile and a warm glow overcomes your body. Never in your life have you felt this way about another person. Until now, your life’s work has been your two wonderful children, they are everything to you. You remember how emotional you were the moment each were born. You let down at the birth of the first child and cried. People had seen you. You were angry with yourself afterwards, crying is for the weak. You felt just as happy the second time, but fought off the tears. You would not let anyone see you weak, you could be stronger than them always, or so you thought. Now that they are yours alone, you realize how lonely you have been your entire life. How without even knowing it, you have been searching, drifting really, lost without an.
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