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“I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other wanker using my stuff”. She looked at me and said: “What makes you think I’d marry another wanker?”Sent my washing to the cleaners the other day with a note enclosed ‘use more soap powder on pants’. When the laundry came back there was another note attached ‘use more paper on arse’.I asked my Kiwi mate how many sexual partners he’d had, he started counting and then drifted off to sleep.A bloke’s son fell asleep at a party, so for a laugh they decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face? His wife went fucking mental when she looked in his cot!A man goes into the local corner deli. When the clerk, a very buxom young girl, asks if she can get him anything, he leans over and whispers “Is it true that you give hand jobs in the back room?” “Why yes, sir” the shop assistant coos. “I’ve already had 5 satisfied customers this morning, and it’s only 11:30am”. “Good good” the man replies. “Well, go and. When Jennifer tried to turn away and not watch the torture Cynthia had to endure, Jason would slash one of her breasts and tell her to either watch or he would slice her up beyond recognition. Turning back to Cynthia and telling her he will continue to give her the boy look she evidently wanted, he cut both breasts off flush with her chest. One nice thing about the breasts are they consist mainly of fatty tissue so no major veins that would quicken her death. Taking duct tape, Jason wrapped it around her upper torso to stop the bleeding from where this young girls breasts used to be. Cynthia spit in Jason’s face as he finished his tape job and without hesitation he punched her in the mouth three times with enough force to break all her upper and lower front teeth off at gum level. He had planned to torture her for at least another five or six hours but he was tiring of her defiance and decided to finish her off with a very painful death.He saw the punching balls at K-Mart a couple.
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