My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said “40”24. I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.25. I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs.26. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.27. What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke ... timing.28. Wife says to her programmer husband, “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.” Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread.29. Communism jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.30. What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.31. What do the movies titanic and the sixth sense have in common. Icy dead people.32. Knock Knock Who’s There? Dishes Dishes Who? Dishes Sean Connery.33. Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.34. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you to help me get to the other side!” The other guy replies. .. I don't know what you mean," all her bluster and bravado from earlier evaporated. Mark said nothing as he stared into her eyes and moved closer to her. He stopped when his face was about a foot from hers. This close she could see the coldness in his eyes, the absolute lack of emotion. She suddenly felt terrified, like a frightened mouse staring into the eyes of a snake that was about to strike. She couldn't turn away and she began to tremble."I ... I guess I wasn't very cooperative today. Maybe, that is, maybe I didn't listen very well, and I suppose I didn't work as hard as I should have..." her voice trailed off and tears started pouring down her cheeks. She started sobbing out loud and uncontrollably. He said nothing, looking at her with that unchanging expression."I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, Coach! Please give me another chance! I can do better, I will do better! Please give me another chance!" Crying uncontrollably she reached out and hugged him tightly and slid down to her knees.
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