I feel like we don't spend as much time together as we should so anytime you want to play a game with me here's some toys we can use, remember, you're never too old for toys! Love Mom". Linda was completely stunned at this point, she clearly couldn't figure out why I would do something like this but when I held up the "toys" she had supposedly bought for me I think her shock turned more to fear. The first thing I held up from the box was a bright pink collar with a silver metal hoop in the front and a name she couldn't quite read embroidered into the back (it was SLUT in fake diamonds and it was just cheaply bedazzled). I didn't let her look at it for long before I put it back and pulled out a small oval piece of plastic and a remote control that I'm sure she couldn't identify. I, of course, knew it to be a remote control vibrator with 10 level settings and a 2 mile range which would make it extremely useful. And the last thing I pulled out was by far the scariest for Linda because. You must have some idea why I did what I did that Saturday. I was dying and I did not want to go from this world longing for another minute, another hour with my children and grand children. I did not want to see the pain of losing me in your eyes every day. I had asked for all of you to be informed of my death immediately so that you could see me for the last time and forgive me for turning you away.I always wanted to make myself believe that I was a senile bitter man but I knew in my heart I was a broken man who was waiting for his death ever since the day he lost his children. Trust me when I tell you that I would have accepted all of you, even Darin, had you come to me before I found out about my terminal illness. Now that you will inherit my estate you will realize that despite having two big ass televisions in the house, and a house that was wired for sound, I never had cable TV or DVD movies nor did I have a single music CD. All colour, all music were snatched from my life.
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