I have always been someone whoenjoys being in control and for most of our relationship I was or so Ithought I was anyway, this was also true in my professional life as wellas my personal one as I am a professional dominatrix.I got started on this path whilst still at university, I always had aninterest in the fetish scene and frequently visited a fetish bar duringmy time at university, the owner of the place sort of took me under herwing and showed me that I could make money from something that turned meon a great deal, as a tall,slim and pretty girl this turned out to bequite easy once I learnt which buttons to pressed for various men, Fiveyears later I do extremely well for myself, but to be quite honest Idon't enjoy it as much as I used to and have been thinking about givingit all up and starting again doing something completely different as mypassion for it has gone and it is now just a job for me. My husband wasokay with my job as long as I never spoke about what I did with. For once, I decided to look at the bright side. Maybe I can find a womanwho actually likes me tonight. Someone who can look past my quirks andrealize I'm a damn good catch. And maybe, if I had a girlfriend, I won'thave to dress up like a girl myself anymore. Here's hoping.The club was busy, as it typically was on a Friday night. The womenlooked good, they smelled good, and most of them really knew how to dance.The guys that I came with didn't take long in finding someone to try tobed, but to my horror I quickly discovered that I still wasn't interested.Maybe I'm just not a club person. And maybe I'm a fucking idiot forthinking I could ever find the kind of girl I like in a place like this.After my usual accomplishment of failing before I even tried, I resignedmyself to my usual position at clubs, holding up a wall in a remotecorner, people watching as always. I don't know what my damn problem is. I think deep down I actually WANT to enjoy myself, but I have no idea howto.
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