Q: Have you heard about the lawyer’s word processor?A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?A: Only three. The balance are documented case histories.Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer plays golf with the judge.Q: When lawyers die, why do vultures ignore them?A: Even a vulture has taste.Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in “that’s a shame”)?A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”?A: There were two empty seats.Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?A: An offer you can’t understand.Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?A: In the cemetery.Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?A: To practice.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?A: You can. "We walked back to the house and grilled a couple of steaks for dinner then sat on the beach to watch the sun set. Being from the more northerly latitudes we weren't ready for how quickly it goes down in the Tropics. That first night we were lying in bed listening to the surf when Beth rolled over and whispered in my ear, "Can we just stay here forever? I don't want to go home." Hey, we just got here. Don't you think we should let the newness rub off before we start changing citizenship?" Well ... if you insist." Then she snaked her hand between us and grabbed me, "Will this thing work when it's out of the country?"It did.The next morning I was awakened from a most pleasant dream by a cold sensation in my crotch, followed by a warm one. I opened my eyes to see Beth leaning over me with half an orange in one hand and a wicked grin on her face. She squeezed the orange and licked the juice off me again."Mmm, hi there," I said as I stretched. "I'd ask what's for breakfast, but it looks.
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