My brother's girlfriend was sneaking into my room. I assumed it was to ask me to be reasonable and to let them party so I switched on my lamp to startle the intruder. Standing at the side of my bed was a slim 19 year-old blond, with blue eyes, a gorgeous face and a tight body. She was dressed in her night-club gear, a tight top housing two large firm breasts and a revealing skirt. She was shocked by the light but gathered herself quickly and told me that she'd come to apologize for their party and waking me up. I told her it was OK but that she needed to leave so that I could get some sleep. She refused, instead crawling onto my bed and insisting that she make it up to me. She said that my brother and the other girls were so drunk they had all fallen asleep. With that she slipped off her top to reveal her breasts. As I gazed at her chest, she slipped into my bed and rolled her body against mine. She planted her tequila-coated tongue in my mouth and snaked her hand under the bed. After all, if I had that much self-control, I wouldn’t be divorced, pointedly for my own infidelity (though I sometimes wondered if she had been cheating and I just got caught first). I’m not a dumbass, but I had a wandering eye and always have. My sexual prowess is both my vice and my virtue, my strength and my weakness at once.Luckily for me, I wasn’t rich enough to lose my shirt, as the courts weren’t about to stick it to a struggling teacher (I wasn’t principal yet), even one with trouble keeping it in his pants. I think that, also, the judge was also a man who was perhaps a little tired of religious hypocrites like my ex-wife and may have shared my suspicion of her own adultery, because he kept the pain to the absolute bare minimum, making me lose only the house, no alimony (I was too poor, okay?), no child support (we didn’t have kids yet), splitting the retirement funds evenly, and giving me the only vehicle that I really wanted in the divorce: my Ford Ranger. I was able to.
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