Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away together! Have a great life!Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. I watch my soaps because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when u got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came 2 mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if u can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when u cooked my favourite meal, u must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers I turned away from u because the £49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed £50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved u & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for £10 million I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home u were gone ... Everything. ’ I think it may have been the patronizing tone in his voice that finally stiffened my backbone. Suddenly, much to my surprise, I became very angry. Not wildly or unthinkingly angry, but angry in an icy, analytical way that honed my mental processes. Feeling strangely flushed, and suddenly almost drunk with power, I stretched my legs and leaned back in my chair, looking at Steve through half closed eyes. ‘You’ve been on my case from day one,’ I said slowly. ‘Only day one didn’t start here. It started with that movie featuring Phil’s cock and Louise’s craziness. ‘You wanted to make a film featuring Phil’s cock. Corrine wasn’t interested in working with him, and Bette couldn’t. Then two things happened to Phil. He lost his job, and he met Louise. Suddenly, the film you wanted to make fell into your lap. ‘You didn’t know how I would react to seeing my wife in a porno flick. You were particularly concerned about that when you discovered I was a lawyer.’ I paused for breath, but my mind.
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