I applied myself, and made quick improvements. Brenda was saying that we should enter the Saturday mixed doubles tournament together. I told her that I'd consider it, but only after I got proficient enough to not embarrass myself with a bunch of people watching me.I had always had keen eyesight, and good hand and eye coordination. I was also a pretty good observer of other players. I picked up a lot of the correct footwork by watching other, better players, compete. If I'd had a greater interest in the game, I would have gotten considerably better, I believe. Tennis just lacked that special appeal to me that golf had from the very beginning. I tried to explain this to Brenda, likening her interest in tennis, to mine for golf, but she refused to accept my contention that tennis lacked any real appeal for me. To her, if she liked it, everyone should. Strangely, she didn't feel that the reciprocal was true about her liking golf.After we finished that first practice, quitting a little. After moving out, and moving back home with my mom and my brother, I got a job, started hanging out with a few friends and basically took things as they came.I had recently found a stack of porn dvd's in my brother's room when I was looking for something else. I was kind of shocked but I wasn't surprised, and I took a couple of them and watched them.I'd never seen a porno before, and I was really kind of amazed at how they showed everything so graphically. I was also amazed at how beautiful and sexy all the performers were, especially the black men.I wasn't exactly in the deep south but about everyone I knew, including my own family was a little racist. I'd never really drawn on any feelings of my own about blacks, mainly because I'd never really been around any, But as I watched the black men on the screen I felt myself getting very excited by their bodies and their dark skin. I'd never would have imagined the spell of seeing these dirty dvd's would put over me.It stayed with me.
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