My best friend Janice – this kooky black girl with spiked hair and a delicate little stud in her nose (years before this was fashionable) – said she did it when she was 14. My only vaguely sexual experience so far had been a quick snog with Bethny Dochertys over-weight brother Gary. This didnt quite live up to all my pals*s tales of unbridled passion with assorted hunks so Id also invented The Groping IncIdent. The Groping IncIdent had reputedly taken place with some dreamy guy Id met on holIday in the Highlands when I was 16. I had a fully developed plot/ indepth characterisation and even photographic evIdence (an out-of-focus picture of me hugging my cousin Philip the previous Christmas). Of course nobody bought any of this but it was better than no story at all. So. Friday night. Janice and I are in my untidy wee bedroom in our underwear trying on things to wear to the party. Ive taken down the lampshade and a bare red bulb now hangs from the socket above. The whole room blazes. “Oh yes” you replied, “That is is perfect color for you dark black hair, it so suits you”I flipped through a few more dresses and smiled, “Well I don't know, it not really my style, and I have so many dresses already”. I could feel my heart pounding a little as I thought.. “Dang, whats a beauty like her doing talking to some one like me? Perhaps I should explain a bit, I am trans-gendered and always very conscious of my look. My friends tell me, I shouldn't worry about it and I'm the cutest of the bunch of us, but still there is a always that nagging little doubt in my mind. “Do I look like I'm a girl or just some pervert cruising the mall.? Don't get me wrong, I take a lot of care in my appearance before I go out, my hair is carefully done, my make up is applied, my clothes have to be just so. It's a lot easier now then my teen years when I had no idea what do or how do it, and the hormones I taken have made my body assume it's natural feminine shape. The biggest change was my.
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