He must have been traveling. But I thought about him now and then -- including twice, I must admit, when I was masturbating. When I saw his car in the driveway one afternoon I decided it was time to invite him over.He answered his door in loose-fitting shorts and flip-flops, no shirt. I thought he looked terrifically sexy, and I suddenly felt like a dork in my cutoffs and rag of a T-shirt.“Dinner sounds great,” he said. “What can I bring?”“A couple bottles of wine?” I said. “Red or white?”“Good question. I don’t know what we’re having yet, so how about one of each?” “You got it,” he said.He seemed to hesitate. “Would you like to come in for a bit? I was just finishing up some yard work, and was about to have a beer.”“Sure,” I said. He led me through the house to the back. I had never seen the place before, but it was beautiful in a minimalist sort of way, with muted colors and lots of light. The only room that looked really lived in was the den, which lay between the kitchen and a. Bye.”To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, “Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!”Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way.”In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out “Yahtzee!”While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors opens.Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask “Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).Shout random numbers while someone is counting.At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem.Walk into a very busy person’s office and.
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