Her skin and flesh lost all solidity. Her hair was like a cloud of dust.Then she scattered into discrete tiny particles that became ever more distant from one another as they lost shape and form. She soon vanished, but rather less abruptly than an Apparition, and all that was left was the damp spot where the water had passed through her body."Where are you, Beatrice?" pleaded Paul. "Please come back. Where have you gone?"There was no reply.Paul remained in the bedroom for several more hours. He couldn't bear to leave while there was still hope that Beatrice might somehow be mysteriously reassembled. Every now and then he pleaded for her to return. His emotions were torn between bewilderment and grief. He quite literally couldn't believe the evidence of his senses.And why Beatrice? Why was it his wife who'd contracted whatever strange ailment that had killed her? What could Paul have done to save her?Paul very rarely wandered away from the villa. He didn't see the need of it. There. The thoughts come and go, sometimes stronger, sometimes leading me to look at pictures of men together or stories of a mans first time. I liked reading about men experiencing gay sex when it was their first time, in the presence of a woman, perhaps encouraging them or forcing them against their will to take that cock into their mouth. I saw myself as straight, after all I was married, had kids and can't stop looking at women, so what if I thought about sucking cock now and then. As more and more became available on the internet, I sought out articles about other straight men that think of this and found that it is common and that lots of otherwise straight guys enjoy occasionally being with another man. My obsession grew. I occasionally looked at dating sites, classifieds, reading posts from straight guys looking for a blowjob on the side, gay men looking to fuck, transvestites with their promise of the best of both worlds wrapped into one. After years of being a passive reader I.
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