"The woman divorced you. She thought she was going to waltz up and distribute a ration of shit just because you're with ME? And downtalk ME? Nope. Not the Jessica Spineti YOU got." You serious about the ring?" Would it be horrible of me?" Nope. After that showing, I'll buy you a car!" Nope. Just a simple little non-gaudy, not ostentatious, ring." You have a jeweler in mind? Have you ever looked?" Nope Not really. Never spent time with a guy I wanted to marry."We went to a couple of jewelers. She looked, I looked, the salespeople cooed. One of the guys actually looked at me and said that the proper amount would be two months' salary.Jessica skewered him. "His or mine?"We left that place."Still no ring," I said."These people are crazy, Barry. The dude just basically said for you to spend sixteen K on a ring." I've heard the 'two months salary' thing before." No." No?" Absolutely not." But..." I started."I'm rethinking this. 'Engagement ring'. Are we engaged?" she asked as we got back. Mom, dad, I mean Aunt Suzie, and I spent the whole day shopping and noone ever seemed to notice a grown man and a little boy wearing dresses."Aunt Suzie and I had a great time shopping and trying on lots of prettyclothes and since no one noticed us, mom bought each of us a dress and anightgown. Aunt Suzie got some sexy looking underwear and I got severalpairs of pantyhose called 'Little L'eggs'."By the time Halloween came, I was comfortable wearing girl's clothes;Aunt Suzie and I did lots of things like grocery shopping together andshe even bought me a toy makeup kit which I spent hours playing with.Sometimes, when mom, Aunt Suzie, and I were going to have a girl's daytogether, I'd bring my makeup into their room and pretend I was puttingon makeup just like them."The Halloween party was a lot of fun; my friends couldn't believe thatI was really a boy and I won first prize - a gift certificate for aparty at McDonald's, my favorite place to eat."The next day was Halloween and mom had.
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