He was following herinstructions. He was obeying. Why wasn't she enjoying herself? She knew he would never break. She could probably cut his foot off and hewould never use their safe word. But doing this was a kind of punishment forher, she realized, since she thrived on never knowing what was going to happennext, and now whatever happened was up to her. This felt wrong. He was in control, not the other way around. She neededhis strength to feel whole. She came fully alive when he told her what to doand just expected her to do it. There was no connection between them now, noemotion. He was just following her orders. When she obeyed him, it answereda deep need and let her emotions free. But she had made such a big deal outof trading places . . . how would he react if she backed down? She took a raggedbreath and spoke. "Stop. Please." He immediately placed his arms back behind his head, and assumed the positionshe had originally commanded. Or had she requested? Her head was spinning.. “In addition you trashed me twice, once with Xavier, then Gary, I think his name was. I really don’t think I will get over that; I’ll always be waiting for the next time you’ll dump me. I simply can’t trust you with the rest of my life. Last time, after Xavier, we started out distant and grew together, and I got over your time with him. The problem is, I think you might think it will be the same this time. Well, it won’t be.”She gave a half smile and nodded. He continued.“Ok, if that’s absolutely clear, I’m happy for us to spend time together, but you have to understand that I may be going out with other women as well. After being burnt, I’m in no hurry to put my hand in the fire again. I’m not going to get serious with you or anyone else any time soon.“We always got on together and had good times long before we became an item, and I think we can be like that again, but that’s as far as I can go.”She made as if to speak, but he held up a hand.“Just one more thing,” he said, “it’s not.
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