“I’m not. I hate to say it after how amazing last night was, but I’m just not ready for a relationship of any kind. I’m sorry, I know you were hoping for more.”“No, I get it, and it’s okay. Really. First, because you told me what happened, it’s easy to understand your hesitancy, but also, I’m in no rush. I still have stuff to get through too, and I’m not going anywhere.”“Thanks, Jon. I know you’re getting healthy and that you’ll soon have your full sex drive back if you don’t already, but I don’t know if a repeat of last night is anywhere in the near future. It scared me how good it felt, but it all left me a little shaken too. I don’t know how much…”She trailed off and I could sense her uncertainty, her libido and the powerful desire to move ahead and forget her past, at war with the knowledge that the past remained unresolved, her ex still a potential threat. I gave her a few seconds to see if she’d go on, then said,“Baby steps, Julia.”“Baby steps, yes.”“Let’s be friends first,. Her first impulse was to take her phone and text every girl that would care…Sierra first, of course, then Amy, Kayla, maybe even Tawny. Then she caught herself. ‘The only way they’d believe me is if I could show them, and I’m sick so they can’t come over.’ She looked back at the laptop screen, scrolling back up over the messages, and then back down to his last reply of possibly texting her. ‘As if..,’ she sighed. She closed her laptop, and stared at her phone, mentally willing it to buzz. Ted had written five different openings so far, and backspaced over all of them. All he could think of was the image of Emily in bed. ‘If she’s in bed she probably never got up this morning, so she’s wearing what she slept in?’ he mused. He pictured fleece pajamas, then shorts with a tee, then a long nightshirt (maybe with nothing underneath?) and that led his wandering hand closer to the slightly twitching bulge that was now in his boxers. ‘Now that,’ he imagined, ‘would be a sight.’ He gently ran.
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