We were in the back room, and he was getting very handsy, and instead of allowing it to go further I went down on him. Thats pretty much how it went for a while. I would go out on a date with a guy, we would make out, and to prevent anything I would suck him off. When I actually started dating someone for a while, it progressed, and the defensive blowjob didnt really do it. Eventually I gave in, but I didnt have sex. Yes, I know its stupid, but instead of having sex, I gave up the ass. It wasnt as bad as I thought it would be, and sometimes it was actually nice. I think for the most part I liked the attention, liked the idea of being a woman that a guy desired. So thats pretty much how my Junior year went. I dated a few guys, had a few random hook ups, and when the year ended, I was guy free. The summer went by with absolutely no men involved. I mean I partied some, but no hook ups, nothing serious until two weeks before school started. Thats when I met Ben. Ben was this supper hot. ‘He’s always charming and friendly…. He’s not like the other people. Everyone else moans about lock down... Or unloads their problems onto me... Or moans about that new housing estate... Or tries to convert me to their political views… it’s so depressing.’‘You talk to him for a long time Mummy.’‘I like talking to him. It’s actually a pleasure. He’s like... the only person who it’s actually a pleasure to talk to. He’s always happy.’ She’s still talking slowly and avoiding any eye contact. ‘He’s so laid back and chilled out. He’s funny. He makes me laugh. He… ‘ she pauses for a few seconds ‘...understands me.’ Suddenly it feels like I am in the wrong movie or something. I can’t believe this conversation is even happening. I’m silent. Shocked. It feels like my stomach is stuck in my throat.‘What does Steve talk about Mummy?’‘Just nice things...’ Sarah continues. He talks about climbing. He’s so into it. You can really tell how much he loves it.’ She’s looking up from her food now..
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