."Here the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to fuck off..."Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).Obviously. .I stopped, looking at that last item stupidly. I sat down; suddenly dizzy, thinking to myself, 'now how did that get there?' I smoothed the torn wrapper across my knee. 'Trojan Ultra-Thin' the front read. Something wasn't right.I knew it wasn't there before we left for Yellowstone. I had cleaned the van thoroughly including removing the mattress, vacuuming and putting on fresh bedding before we loaded up.As I absentmindedly fingered the wrapper I considered the possibilities. Debbie had gone off the pill the month before. We had decided to start our family as soon as she had completed her first year in her job. John and Kathy made no secret of the fact she was on the pill until their little boy turned two. Then they were planning on getting pregnant for their second one.I thought, maybe it's a practical joke? John sometimes had a quirky sense of humor, especially after having a few beers. I considered the possibility for a few minutes.Then I grabbed the wastebasket and dumped the.
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