"And a very big man I must say!" I know I smiled at her and couldn't help but feel proud of myself. "Suddenly, I had to have you in my mouth. I needed to have the feel of a man filling my mouth with his dick. It was a terrible thing to do. I will never forgive myself for it. Randy! I'm so sorry that I did that! I can only imagine what you must think of me!"I looked at her face. She was trying to show a brave front. She was trying to be the strong Grandma she had always been for me. But I could see her eyes filling with tears. I could see the shame that she felt for letting her womanly needs take control of her body. I sat up straight on the bed, letting my back rest against the wall."Grandma! I don't hate you or think that you are some kind of pervert, if that's what you are afraid of. When I started laughing, it was because I have grown so much older from when you used to do that when I was a k**. I have been with women, I'm not a virgin you know! And the thought of you kissing my. In my third period English class, Miss Phillips was lecturing when I drifted off to think about my current predicament with my mother and Sylvia. "Want to give me that gum, Joey?" Miss Phillips was standing over me and I handed her the gum. I fumed, thinking about how I would soon be dying for a cigarette while Miss Phillips would be off to office between periods, smoking one of those Benson & Hedges gold 100s she always had sticking out of the side pocket of her black leather hobo bag. Sure enough, by the time class bell rang, I was jonesing for a cigarette and fortunately was able to get my last piece of gum in my mouth in the hallway. I made it undetected for the rest of the day. As school ended I was craving a cigarette bad, though, so I headed for a route home not traveled by other students and smoked away.At home, I had to grab my paper bag and I knew there would be no way to avoid my mom and the awkwardness that now existed between us. When I entered the house, I saw smoke.
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